Products That Bombed

UnderGround – Feb 05

Dear Ernie

I have to confess - those failures are all my fault. In the early days I bought both the Windshield and the Zest Tee. Clearly promoting those items on my mangy old body was unsuccessful - in part on account of my mangy old body normally residing just under (or sometimes alongside) my poxy pug ugly mug. I toyed with buying an el Taco, but got a now unprocurable item instead (must check to see if the manufacturer is still in business).

The Windshield was stolen from my car a few months ago - I don't believe there is someone else out there with my peculiar lack of taste. But it was dark at the time. They also took a set of chains, some old tramping boots and a clutch of CD's carefully procured from remainder bins. Do car thieves usually go for discs composed entirely of orchestral fanfares? I digress.

I have been pondering this realisation, that my taste is so obviously out of sync with the mainstream, and am wondering if it can be put to good use. A kind of reverse marketing - if I don't buy the stuff then maybe everyone else will. So I have a proposition: for a small fee I could be persuaded to never again buy or wear any Ground Effect products. No, I can't do it. Even though you may be tempted to accept, I couldn't do without my Daddy Long Legs... there are people out there willing to pay serious money to ensure my legs are covered at all times.

Keep up the good work. Here's to another ten years of the cycling revolution.

Regards, Peter D.