Moments Like These

We're hovering around - poking, prodding and offering unhelpful advice when the clouds parted (literally) and a blond apparition approached the hut.

Now when I ride down the street kids laugh at me because I look like a Splice. Fat people try to lick me on hot days.

Whilst when originally purchased, I subscribed to all the splatter about not wearing out and lasting for ages, I didn't take it too literally.

When I txt my wife "I love you" or "you're beautiful" she replies, "did you mean to send that to me or matt?"

But here's the catch – I now had just a single top to get me through the trip.

Best of all is the reflective Ground Effect label that glows – making its presence known in the black hole that masquerades as the bottom of my handbag.

I was able to breathe a little more life into one of the batteries by rubbing it up and down quickly on my Doctor Smock's fleece collar.

I have to confess - those failures are all my fault. In the early days I bought both the Windshield and the Zest Tee.

OK I said, handing over my Supertankers - make a pair of these.

37yr old male, would like to meet slim, attractive, financially independent "ground effect" female.